bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
