i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
