To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
