she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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