Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
