the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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