get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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