so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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