there's paper in my vomit.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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