Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's always time for handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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