Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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