In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
