yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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