Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
