small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
