Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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