he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I see more hoeing in ur future
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