Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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