He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
