I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
