hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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