Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Also, beer. Big fan.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
