I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
