Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
