I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
