No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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