Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
