My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize