my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize