in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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