1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
