my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What a dumb baby whore.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
