There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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