I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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