"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
