I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
