She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
