Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
