It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
