For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
