How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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