How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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