Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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