nut hugger
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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