shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
