plz talk dirty to me
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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