P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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