I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
