It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
