did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
