I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
