im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
