; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
