just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
