her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize