Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
