So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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