Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
