Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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