he thought i was a dude.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
