is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
