I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
