I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My cat gives me a boner
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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