i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
