So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
