hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
