There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All I want is dick and wine.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
