I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
