my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
