forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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