Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
