I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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