Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
